It been really long since i blogged.
It has also been almost two years since i fell for you. Im really happy to be with you and all i ever want is to see you smile, to see u laugh. I truly care about you and just wanna be there for you forever. I know you prolly already sense my feelings for you long ago and is choosing to act as if you do not know that i like you. But it doesnt matter to me, as long as I care and love you, i dun mind you being able to tell. Cause its just gona hurt me more to be unable to care for you. I thought it was just a simple crush at first too, but almost two yrs my fren, i still truly like u alot and love you. But yet, i am too chicken to tell you my true feelings, because Im afraid it will harm our frenship. You may not realise but everytime we go home late, I will ask you subtly if u r home, not cause i have nothing to say, but i just wanna be assured that you are safe and sound at home. I cannot send u home all the way to your house because i know that is just too extreme and u will prolly feel more pushed back by my actions, so all i can do is to follow you home and get off few stops before you alight, even though that route takes me more time to reach home. But it doesnt matter to me, cause all i want is to spend more time with you and see you safe, and happy. I don't ask for more, I just wanna see you, my best friend, be happy and enjoying everything. I try my best to make you happy and evth. I rather be the one suffering than see you suffer. I nvr knew I care and love you so much previously cos i thought i liked the other girl. but no, i realised back then, i still prefer being with you and hanging out with you. HOW CAN I EVER TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. Im really afraid to tell you my true feelings but i have decided, after As, whether or not our relationship will turn for the worse, I am going to chase you. I cannot bear seeing you go with other guys or anything. I want to be the one there for you, to care for you, to love you, and to protect you. I do not want to see other guys hurting you too. Give me a year, i will show you how much i really love you.

A silly guy in love with you.

30th Nov 12

The last day of the month. Just one more month and it will be 2013. I will be a JC1 boy.  My third? chapter of life will begin. although it will not be much different from now, it will be a change still considering it is Senior High. Watching the last ep of nice guy now.

Although you may see this, I don't care. This is the only place i can openly admit I have feelings for you. I can't say it in ur face, nor through texts. This is the only place. I am really afraid to tell you because I believe if i told u this truth, we will not be best friends again. And losing you is more painful then not being able to be with you. I just want you to be happy and smile everyday :) It means much more than anything else to me. You may find it hard to believe or may try to avoid me if u ever see this post, but really ): I fell in love with  you, my best friend. I really regretted not treasuring you so much in the past, but now i know how much you mean to me. Whatever it is, I hope you will be happy and work hard next year (: We will stay on as soulmates until one day i may actually have the courage to tell you how i really feel about you.

-A dumb boy

It has been long since i posted. not like anyone is gona read it. it is the official start of the hols, at least for me, but tmr i have to go back to sch. Im lost. I jus duno what i shld be doing now.
She has gone to china, im left alone here. i alrd miss her. idk why. I have never realised i actually cared abt her so much and evth. she can be mean to me, she can insult me, she can do anything to me, but i never ever get pissed at her for more than a day. she really means alot to me. I know i said similiar stuffs when i liked blue, but this feeling is diff. she has been my bestie for 3 years. i never realised that she means much more than just a soulmate to me. no girl ever understood me more than her, no one. i can not say anything and she knows what i am thinking. i never realised that she may be the one. i know i may be only 16 but im feeling like this. i missed all the good times i spent with, gng out with her, calling her, texting her alot, gng kbox, watching movies tgt, we did so many things tgt, and back then i din realised that she means alot to me. idk how am i going to survive this hols. just like that of course, but i know i will feel bad. i told her i will miss her. i mean it. even if she feels ew. i really cant just sit back n do nth all the time. i will never win her like that. but yet, im really afraid to tell her that i like her. hopefully, one day i will get the right timing, right now, just need to try to occupy myself n not rmb her. or i will just torture myself like that.
I really need to take this hols for a good break. I know for sure im gona die next year. i planned my timeline and woah boom. im dead next year. but im prepared. i will kill myself off in jc 1 and mug 100% in jc 2. thats my plan. nid to be damn hardworking next yr. haiz. if i collapse, call the ambulance. see ya

life jus gets more n more boring each time. i feel tired of life yet i mus go on. haiz. n some ppl r jus being such a humper these days. feel like slapping them totally man. haiz. boarding... but boring this term. nth planned, nth exciting. boring nj. lazy tchrs. haaiz

Everyday in boarding in boring, this term feels more boring than last term for some strange reasons. everyday study or stone or crap. i feel tired of life, if only i culd jus slp forever, but tt wuld mean dead, ah wells. sian. boarding doesn seem to mean anything anymore, its jus a place to slp n play. enuf of SP n rules, haiz, n im short tempered these days idk y :l haiz

gng to abandon this blog soon~ ASSESSMENT WK COMING D:::: i dun even hav the time to go on9 le.... aft friday, i will b freeeeee! :D

haiz. stressed...... tmr might b debate. n we miss out on alot of bio n physics lessons. bio nid catch up physics still ok lah. haiz. nxt wed road run! i dun reli care abt winnning le. jus wanna slp.... haiz wan an