It has been long since i posted. not like anyone is gona read it. it is the official start of the hols, at least for me, but tmr i have to go back to sch. Im lost. I jus duno what i shld be doing now.
She has gone to china, im left alone here. i alrd miss her. idk why. I have never realised i actually cared abt her so much and evth. she can be mean to me, she can insult me, she can do anything to me, but i never ever get pissed at her for more than a day. she really means alot to me. I know i said similiar stuffs when i liked blue, but this feeling is diff. she has been my bestie for 3 years. i never realised that she means much more than just a soulmate to me. no girl ever understood me more than her, no one. i can not say anything and she knows what i am thinking. i never realised that she may be the one. i know i may be only 16 but im feeling like this. i missed all the good times i spent with, gng out with her, calling her, texting her alot, gng kbox, watching movies tgt, we did so many things tgt, and back then i din realised that she means alot to me. idk how am i going to survive this hols. just like that of course, but i know i will feel bad. i told her i will miss her. i mean it. even if she feels ew. i really cant just sit back n do nth all the time. i will never win her like that. but yet, im really afraid to tell her that i like her. hopefully, one day i will get the right timing, right now, just need to try to occupy myself n not rmb her. or i will just torture myself like that.
I really need to take this hols for a good break. I know for sure im gona die next year. i planned my timeline and woah boom. im dead next year. but im prepared. i will kill myself off in jc 1 and mug 100% in jc 2. thats my plan. nid to be damn hardworking next yr. haiz. if i collapse, call the ambulance. see ya